Unsettled

Uncertain dissatisfaction in the present moment, a questioning concern over nostalgia.
Going with the flow, and deliberate, timely planning, look, smell and taste contradictory.
But where should I go, where shall I end up, without a future centered worry?
Blue Flag should help with this, Matthew Wood said.
How do I put my thoughts into actions when there are so many thoughts from which to choose?
Will my roots continue to grow?
Sun scorched -  petals dipped in earthly batter and fried to a crisp, but not an edible one.
Draining, but not the water I so desperately need.
Exhaustion overcoming, each day at it's end, and doesn't leave at the break of morning.
The time for determined steadfastness I can not find.
Lost in a scaly sea of thorns and dust, the trees of my past I long for.
Self righteousness lost its appeal when alcohol became a legal option for winding down.
But now, now. Now I want to relax into something I haven't yet opened to.
A purpose, a poem, a moment of prayer.
Surrender to something higher than myself?
I am but a creature of this Earth, and searching, as are we all-
For blissful understanding of how to Be.